The Mind of Andrew

That which has been thought, but never been said..until now

Merry Fucking Christmas!

Hey everyone, I’m here to say Merry Christmas.  I haven’t posted in way too long because of games and school.  But now that I’m done for the semester, time for a little message brought to you by me.  Merry Christmas!  And I refuse to say Happy Holiday’s because that’s bullshit.  I don’t care about Hannakuh, Ramadan, Kwanzah, and I don’t even care if I spelled those correctly.  If you celebrate those, good for you.  Say that to your friends and family who do the same.  But the number of times I’ve been yelled at for saying something like Merry Christmas, and people say that’s politically incorrect, that’s fucking bullshit.  The majority of people celebrate christmas, and does it hurt anyone to hear to have a merry anything.  I mean, unless it’s a “merry prison ass fuck,” no one should care.  So this christmas, I’m giving the gift of time travel; by that I mean that I’m going back to before anyone cared about political correctness or any of this.  There was no fire fighter it was fire man, no postal worker- mailman, no airline attendant- stewardess.  People had balls and weren’t afraid to offend other people.  I want it back! I’m not saying to be completely ignorant and be racist, but does the name of things really matter that much.  I heard that they’re changing the name of gingerbread men, to gingerbread person.  That….is where I draw the line.  So Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

I added a second picture just for you


December 22, 2010 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment


Okay, so I received many comments about my blog entries, and here is my response.  I don’t care what you people think about my blog.  I have opinions and yes, I curse because sometimes, I feel it very necessary.  Now, some of your comments make sense and am taking them into consideration.  I will try to talk more about the substance of a game as opposed to just saying things.  That will be worked on, and as for my language, I can say whatever I want, when I want.  If you have the time to sit down and type a response to my blog complaining about my language, you really need to get a life.  I do this blog for fun and because I can.  I’m not making money, and I don’t care who reads it.  My real point is that I want to say things.  If you care so much about these things, than go out and author your own blog, it’s really freaking easy.

May 21, 2010 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment

Fuck The Colts!

Okay, so I’m not really the biggest football fan ever, but here’s the reality of the situation.  I hate the teams that always win every god damn game.  The saints have never been good really.  Never even been division champs, but the Colts, have won fucking everything.  I hope Peyton CockSucking Manning gets a case of tetanus from a rusty fucking dildo being shoved through his eye socket.  It’s not even that I really hate the Colts, its all teams that always win and get so much press.  Patriots, Colts, Steelers, and a little of the Giants.  If you come from those cities, I don’t really give a shit, and you can kiss my left nut, cause my right nut is too fancy for you fags.  I am a Redskins fan and am aware, that they will never be any good ever again.  But they’re a team thats fun to watch.  So Go Saints, win some for the underdogs, Cause like this blog, no one actually thinks shit about them.

February 7, 2010 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment

Kevin Smith: My Hero

So recently, some friends of mine have been obsessed with generally all things Kevin Smith.  If you have never watched any of his movies or don’t really know who he is, listen up.  Clerks is the story of two clerks at a convenience store in New Jersey and their typical day and the retarded things they say.  It is by far one of the funniest and most revealing cult films of America.  In fact, the director Kevin Smith plays the part of the loveable Silent Bob, the sidekick of the drugdealing Jay.  Kevin’s movie’s though bring both humour and disgust to movie watchers.  His movies are both artsy and horribly disgusting.  When you hear two characters in Clerks 2 talk about how one guy can’t have sex because his girlfriend has a pussy troll named Pillowpants who will bite of his dick if he puts it in;  you laugh and cringe so hard that you crap yourself with the force of a thousand stampeding elephants.  When you watch ack and Miri Make A Porno and see a man filming a porno from below and the guy who is doing anal, is surprised pulls out and the girl shits all of the camera guys face, you fell both on the verge of puking and high fiving Kevin James for this horrible event.  The list of Kevin James Movies is as follows, Clerks, Clerks 2, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Jersey Girls, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and one of my favorite shows every produced, Clerks the Animated Series.  So check out some of these movies if you love terrible innapropriate comedy and laugh your ass off scenes.  I love Kevin Smith and his “Boring Ass Life”.jay and silent bob

August 21, 2009 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment

Terrible Pickup Lines: The ultimate art form

So I spent this week in Wise Virginia.  I was re-roofing a house.  For all of you who don’t know where Wise Virginia is, I live about 30 mins away from DC.  It was a 9 hour drive.  It’s the very fucking tip of Virginia basically Kentucky.  But this week, my crew and I working on this fucking terrible roof.  I call it Francois (I don’t know how to spell french names) because it was so fucking gay and a bitch and all of its wood sucked.  We had to replace all the wood on this large roof, then we had to shingle everything in 100 degree weather.  Fucking balls man.  The brightest part though, was the discovery of pickup lines.  I never remembered how fantastic they could be, so I’m sharing some of ours with you.  1.)  Are you a pokemon? Cause I just wanna Pikachu.  2.)  Oh dang, I forgot my library card, can I still check you out?  3.)  Hey is your cell phone in your back pocket?  Cause you’re bootys been calling me all day.  4.)  Oh man, I just crapped in my pants, can i get into yours?  5.) I just lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?  6.)   Are you wearing outer space pants? because your ass is outta this world.  7.)  Do you work for subway?  Cause you just gave me a footlong.  8.)  Do you work for UPS, cause i coulda sworn you were checking out my package.  9.)  Were you raised on a farm? Cause you sure are raising a lot of cocks.  10.)  Do you have a map? cause I’m lost in your eyes.  11.)  How much does a polar bear weigh?  enough to break the ice.  12.)  How do you get twleve monkeys in a toaster?  I don’t know, wanna have sex?  13.)  You thought the iceberg the titanic hit was big.  14.)  My personal favorite:   You know what I’m here for!  And thats all of mine for know, I hope you enjoy them, tell them to friends, cause they’re really funny.

June 28, 2009 Posted by | Rants | 1 Comment

Apology accepted

Hey everyone.  I’m really sorry that I haven’t actually posted anything in a while.  That’s my fault, you see, I’m a big ‘ol bag of baby dicks.  Like I’ve been really fucking busy and just running around.  Like prom and graduation and all that shit.  But know I’m back, and I plan to once again resume my blog.  Granted, I’m pretty sure that no one even reads my blog, but I digress.  And by digress, I mean, fuck all of you, I actually try to do good stuff.  I hate all of you.  But please come back because now i’m sorry; mostly becuase without you, no one reads my blogs.  I mean, honestly that’s fine, but someone please post about stuff, like, it’s really discouraging when I write something I like, and then…..fucking nothing.  It’s like being hit in the nuts with a shovel made of unicorns.  Both making me feel in pain and slightly gay.  Now that my apology is over, I will continue this blog in the only way I know how…by being a faggot who yells….yahhhh!

June 17, 2009 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment

Prom-Oh, that’s where my money went

So, as I’m a senior, I’m going to prom.  It’s not like I really have anything against prom, its just that its expensive as hell.  I mean my schools tickets are going to be close to like $65.  Thats fucking ridiculous.  I have a girlfriend though, so she wanted to go.  So really, this is her fault.  First, I’m broke, and I ain’t got no job…..If you wanna hire me….please do!  But otherwise, paying for a limo, even when split up, $60, tickets for both buy and girl $130, food at a nice place, $30-$60.  Thats at least like $220.  I don’t have that kind of money, becuase that’s way to much money.  But seriously after my cash realization, all my friends decided it was too expensive, so now they’re not going to go to the prom.  So I have no group now!!!!!! FUCK!!! What the Fuck!!   Well, I’m typing this in chem class and now I’m getting yelled at.  Cause I’m so damn hardcore!!! Keep the comments coming, cause they’re what makes me happy.

May 28, 2009 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment

Graduation, Why aren’t you here?

Arghhh! So being a senior, I’m graduating this year, and as a result, don’t care about any of my classes.  Of which, I’m not doing shit in.  Big surprise, but every day, I have to go to school now, and essentially waste all my time in classes, that frankly, I don’t give two shits about, and I love shitting, best part of my day.  What honestly is the point to all of it.  I don’t learn anything, but now i’m trapped in a prison where being bored, is apparently what I’m supposed to do.  Why would you do this, making seniors, who are already in college, not allowed to get jobs and do work and make money, for the upcoming money slut that is all things related to college.  It really is incredibly annoying how i can’t get things like money and free time, instead, I have to put up with stupid teachers who wont let you go home, but at the same time, don’t want to teach, so you accomplish even less than previous.  Oh well, at least ill never have to relive all of this bullshit, ever again.

May 22, 2009 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment

VT, I hope i don’t die

So, being a senior, it is tradition to go to college.  Yes, so I applied to all in state schools cause I love the oppurtunities that our state has to offer in academics, and by that I mean, im fucking broke.  I got into all the schools I applied to, except for UVA, because of all the fucking applicants this year.  Besides, my ridiculous activities, 3.85 GPA on the fuking 94-100 is an A and AP’s add only +.5 scale, plus a 34 on the ACT’s and legacy, so I say, fuck that shit.  That’s so obnoxious.  So as a result, I’m going to Virginia Tech.  Honestly, my goal is to go into video game design and development.  So, i should have gone to VCU, but I wasn’t allowed to apply, cause it’s full of black people (my parents are retarded, yes).  So, i’m going to the most depressing campus of my life, full of gray, and wind, and death…..shit!  No, but i’m excited to be away from home.  No bullshit, well still plenty, but i can deal with a little, not the facefuck dumptruck that is my life now.  I mean, heck, they got lots of rocks in Blacksburg, maybe I can catch a geodude XD.  So, people tell me where you’re going.  I’m going to be making games and being ridiculous, if anyone who reads this shit, is going to VT, tell me.  And if you’re going to another college, also tell me.  Seriously, comment on my posts you  dicks.

May 11, 2009 Posted by | Rants | 1 Comment

Swine Flu-The Man Bear Pig epidimic

First, yes, i don’t know how to spell epidimic.  Second, what the fuck is with all animals killing us.  The cows, birds, pigs, fuck, what’s next Panda-monium fever.  Granted, I would get infected with that on purpose.  Seriously though, I’ve never really been scared of any of the animal diseases.  I mean, West Nile, Mad Cow Disease, Avion Flu, they were all real.  But we overhyped them like so fucking much, like the 3rd xmen movie.  I was all excited and I was like YAY, then it was so much shit.  I mean seriously, I mean, granted I’m a little concerned.  I’m super paranoid, and I live in Virginia, and there have been two confirmed cases here.  So I care, but you have to realize that you’re most likely going to be 100% fine.  Don’t be gross, take showers, wash your hands, and don’t eat food from a trash can.  Granted, more people have already been affected by Swine Flu(sorry, Mexican flu) than all the other diseases put together, but that still only totals like 15.  I mean, calm the fuck down.  You’re going to be okay, stop bothering doctors, and stupid companies, if you try to take advantage of all the stupid people…. i wanna cut.  Cause I got some great ideas.  Also, one question for those of you out there, a muslim’s not allowed to eat pig, or touch pig blood cause it’s unclean, but if you catch swine flu, is that a sin?  I’m going to get yelled at for that.  Until next time, BROCK!!!!

May 1, 2009 Posted by | Rants | Leave a comment