The Mind of Andrew

That which has been thought, but never been said..until now

Terrible Pickup Lines: The ultimate art form

So I spent this week in Wise Virginia.  I was re-roofing a house.  For all of you who don’t know where Wise Virginia is, I live about 30 mins away from DC.  It was a 9 hour drive.  It’s the very fucking tip of Virginia basically Kentucky.  But this week, my crew and I working on this fucking terrible roof.  I call it Francois (I don’t know how to spell french names) because it was so fucking gay and a bitch and all of its wood sucked.  We had to replace all the wood on this large roof, then we had to shingle everything in 100 degree weather.  Fucking balls man.  The brightest part though, was the discovery of pickup lines.  I never remembered how fantastic they could be, so I’m sharing some of ours with you.  1.)  Are you a pokemon? Cause I just wanna Pikachu.  2.)  Oh dang, I forgot my library card, can I still check you out?  3.)  Hey is your cell phone in your back pocket?  Cause you’re bootys been calling me all day.  4.)  Oh man, I just crapped in my pants, can i get into yours?  5.) I just lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?  6.)   Are you wearing outer space pants? because your ass is outta this world.  7.)  Do you work for subway?  Cause you just gave me a footlong.  8.)  Do you work for UPS, cause i coulda sworn you were checking out my package.  9.)  Were you raised on a farm? Cause you sure are raising a lot of cocks.  10.)  Do you have a map? cause I’m lost in your eyes.  11.)  How much does a polar bear weigh?  enough to break the ice.  12.)  How do you get twleve monkeys in a toaster?  I don’t know, wanna have sex?  13.)  You thought the iceberg the titanic hit was big.  14.)  My personal favorite:   You know what I’m here for!  And thats all of mine for know, I hope you enjoy them, tell them to friends, cause they’re really funny.


June 28, 2009 - Posted by | Rants

1 Comment »

  1. […] See original here:  Terrible Pickup Lines: The ultimate art form […]

    Pingback by Terrible Pickup Lines: The ultimate art form | 888 Phone Cards | June 28, 2009 | Reply

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